Yin; Because The Ounce Of Emotion I Had Left Is Now Securely Locked Up In Pandora's Box

You know, I've always played the good guy. The gentleman. I've come to the realisation that this isn't the right role for me. No matter how much I want to hold someone or kiss someone, or sing them a lullaby, it'll never come to pass. I don't want to be the kind of person winking at random strangers from across the road. I don't want to be promiscuous, but life and society doesn't seem to accept life any other way, because the world is a shit-hole.

Does no-one feel emotion anymore?
Does no-one GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ANYMORE!?

Because it hurts.

Yin/Yang; I Have Two Balls And Neither Are Crystal

I feel like rhyming what I say tonight, like a song, I'm rhythmic and this feels right.

Ah, to watch the week come to a close and to think; 2 weeks remain after tomorrow. I peak. To be honest I enjoy the end of school, I'm not going to a prom all dressed up like a tool. Don't be mad, I'm not sad. I enjoy my true friends. I'd rather make it obvious that just pretend - that I like that shit, you know what I mean? The chavvy dance tracks on the TV screen. I'll sit out and smile rather than stay stood in denial. Sober. Loner.

It's been a while since I've smiled, and these pallid features have lifted a lip, I let it slip. I'm warmer underneath, But I like to hide it with this sheath. But to be back in school, should I be happy or sad? I'm not a jack-the-lad, but this just feels shit, Every little bit. I'm hating it, but hating it happily, does that make sense, not when I'm talking in the present tense. The people I know will make me laugh, but their retardation means the happiness won't last. I love you all uniquely, but bleakly. Enjoy this whilst it lasts, because you'll remain in the past.

So now I'll leave you with a merry tune, Something I put upon a forum to be groomed, But alas t'was ignored, left me bored, so you'd better fucking comment even if you say it's dumb, just as long as it says “1 comments” I won't shove my prom ticket up your... sleeve.



The A. O. RM (Ace of Spades)

If you wanna spam troll, I tell you “Word Games” man,
You win some, lose some, it's -all- still spam to me,
The pleasure is to play, it makes no difference what you say,
I don't share your greed, the only board I need is
The A. O. RM.
The A. O. RM.
Alright.

Playing for WD wall, dancing with the Dil,
Going with the flow, it's all insane to me,
Off to hell not heaven, lurkers watching you,
Double post or quit, the noobs are all in s**t,
The A. O. RM
The A. O. RM.

You know I'm born to lose, and THE GAME is for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby,
I have no life, I endeavour,
And Don't Forget The Nzer.

Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me,
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's posts again,
I see it in mods eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it's gotta be,
The A. O. RM
The A. O. RM

Yin/Yang: There's No Secrets This Year

Well, okay, a mini Yin comes in the form of me not being able to save my Vox Furoris entry as a movie, (Piece o' shit) but at least I've done it.

<3

A slightly larger Yin being that today has been pretty crap. I had a maths exam. Any warning? No. I ahd to do my drama exam piece after school for an audience. Was I given a warning? No. Gah. Still, no major angst.

<3

Yangleism. =)

I don't want to jinx it, but wit ha day off on both Friday and Monday in a couple of weeks, and a willign friends, I may be able to travel to teh Isle o' Mainia. I'll post some more tomorrow too, but I'm going to go to bed now... Toodle-oo.

Yang: All That Glitters In Gold, Only Shooting Stars Break The Mould

Yes. It's NOT angsty. x{P

Much. :{P

Admittedly the holidays have been majorly suck-ass, but it's nice to feel slightly better and I have a number of reasons to be like this... other than finally being able to procrastinate...

(a) Twat kid's been caught by the Police.

(b) I wented to visit TOMMEH. That was fun. See below... somewhere... for details.

(c) Just because I can finally relax, and I have an awesome amount of people I can speak to. You know, I've actually checked, and there's not a single person that I know in real life that is in my awesome peoples list. It's all you internet people. x{P

(d) Fuck it. I can't be arsed to list anymore. x{P

Uh, yeah so everything's not all bad...

Also, I'd like to thank you, you know who you are. ;)

What else can I say?

Ooh! My writer's block has finally vanished. I can now write a high amount of songs. (Totally whoop btw) I'll greet you with one in a bit.

THAT TIME HAS ARRIVED! x{P

The Drums Sound

Plague me like locusts bearing various infections,
I feel like a schoolchild tryna hide a large erection,
And when I found out I was forced out through caesarean section,
The drumming sound became as loud as sex without protection.

So the speed of sound,
Continues to explode,
My head's in overload,
I know it's wrong,
But I can't help but pound,
When I hear the drums sound.

Teenage kicks have never really been top priority,
I've always been one to follow the authority,
See, I'm usually one of the few moral minority,
You'd never see me parked up by some social sorority.

So the speed of sound,
Continues to explode,
My head's in overload,
I know it's wrong,
But I can't help but pound,
When I hear the drums sound.

This life,
Feels like it's gonna a turn on me,
It's not right,
That I'm never with the majority,
Subscribe,
Is what I hear them all screaming at me,
But I'd die,
Rather than become so caught up in the falling tree...

So the speed of sound,
Continues to explode,
My head's in overload,
I know it's wrong,
But I can't help but pound,
When I hear the drums sound.

Btw, there's no-one I was thanking with the little wink at the end, I just wanted to make you wonder. x{P

Yin & Yang: Fuck it.

Ya know, I'm probably gonna be posting every/single/day from now on, because if I've got something to say, I find this helps me majorly.

So yeah, basically I'm not sure if this counts as good or bad, so I've classified it as both. Because I'm thinking 'fuck it'. See, nothing matters any more. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off telling my friends where to shove their moral support because most of the time, in fact no, all of the time, it does nothing. Nin's got it down to a tee IMO. Tom went into some big speech, and no offence mate, it didn't help me. Nin just said 'God, that is fucked' and I laughed. She didn't try to help me out and ironically, that's what I need. Just to talk to people and forget the bad things.

From now on, I'm different, kay? I'm gonna be hard hearted. My world's shattered one to many times, and I'm fed up of building it back with sand to be washed away again. I'm digging deeper. Sedimentary rock will hold this heart in place, because despite the chirpy happy look I play, it's there, and it's god-damn sensitive.

I'll still be there though. I'm still me, just with an edge that I want buried. Love hurts, so I'm saying fuck it. If some-one is destined to be with me, then he or she can do the hard work, because I'm fed up and my heart isn't fit for any of these games anymore.

Yin: Yes, I'm Now Coding My Blog

Yin is black, negative, and nurturing.

Yang is white, active, positive, and initiating/creating.

This shall be how you know if the post will be good or bad. So, as you have now guessed the title implies this will be a negative post.

Basically, looking around, the world is falling down the proverbial shitter. And going by the laws of physics, no matter how high we jump, gravity will always bring us down, until you end up in space, where there is literally nothing. In other words, we're never destined to end on a high.

It's always the good kids, isn't it? Never the dick-headed ones. Never the ones you'd GLADLY see struck down. And be all patriotic or whatever, say "you'd never like to see any-one die", but everyone wishes someone wasn't in their life. Everyone thinks life would be better off with someone dead. Well, Shan isn't one of those people. And to her and all of her friends and family, I'm here for you. You're not leaving us.

Oh, and not for the first time, In fact, actually, I make this the third time now; it turns out a girl that I like and I mean really really like would rather go off with another girl instead of me. My heart is numb and can't take much more before it becomes solidified. I'm so close to thinking "fuck everything and everyone" and just cracking.

Oh, and not to mention all my friends (bar the ones that really are amazing, and thank you) are pissing off as a result of my mood.

So yeah. Yin. If you don't like it, fuck off.

Pingu Didn't Like The Grotty Old Pub

I was sorely tempted to put the 'pube' in the title and blame it on a typo, but that would have also oddly fitted the agenda. Yes, it would turn out that our favourite little penguin boy isn't all that he seems. X{P

So yeah, I am obviously talking about Tomski, (Yes Nin, I did totally rob your name for him. x{P) who I visited today, spending the majority of my money on transport. Throughout the trip I have decided that Coventry is possibly the most boring place on Earth. It was BLATANTLY a godsend that I ended up there to try and cheer the town up. :{P I am now going to do a tedious and irritating list of things that I did today, and I'm gonna make you read it and tell me it's amazing. :{P



-Chapter One-
Train Stations

I do NOT do trains if I can help it, but as it went, I couldn't. :{P You could tell that I didn't know anything to do with trains, when I couldn't find the STATION. I was running around the palisades for ages looking for an entrance to the station. Turns out it's down the fucking stairs! Then I went to several wrong platforms. Thanks for that Mr. I'm a security guard so I know everything. When I finally did get on the train I put Billy Idol on and gazed out of the window, only to realise that I'd actually accidentally stepped into First Class. (I though it was posh). I just relaxed safe in the knowledge I could act all panicky if an inspector got on and explain the totally honest mistake. :{P And I totally /didn't/ do the same thing on the way back. X{D

After I got of the train in Coventry, which poor child do I see but T.B. X{D He was staring at another train, seemingly expecting me to clamber out of that one, so I approached him and said “Personally, I don't think he's gonna be on that one.”

Luckily, I saw him straight away, but I had a back-up plan in case it was busy like in Birmingham. He would recognise the jester hat! :{P

Yeah...



-Chapter Two-
The Grotty Old Pub, Ikea and gagged women on the forbidden floor 5.

Stepping out of the train stations, we had to find our way back, which for Tommy boy seemed impossible. Heck, he couldn't even find him way out of the car park. X{P However, following his dad's badly-hand-drawn map we managed to get as far as the grotty old pub. I'm guessing Tommy boy didn't like it. X{P

We did finally make it past gypo's with guitars and the big circle called Coventry. We took a trip through the crack market with a fairground in the middle and ended up slap-bang in the middle of Coventry and it's massive Ikea. Be warned, the remaining paragraphs in this “chapter” will get vair odd. :{P

We got in, and we went to the lift, which told us that we could go to any floor apart from THE FORBIDDEN FLOOR 5! Wow... Very Harry Potter. Anyhew, we ventured up to the café and we heard a voice come across on the tanoy TELLING US WHAT WE WERE FUCKING DOING! However, the voice sounded gagged and we decided that she was on the forbidden floor five, kidnapped and forced to work from under an ornate Swedish lamp.

We got to the food place. CHEAP FOOD! I mean, I got chips, a hotdog and a bottomless drink of coke for under £2. However, we saw their incentive was quickly smothered by the fact that there were tables but NO FUCKING CHAIRS. Seriously, no chairs? In a FURNITURE STORE? What is the world coming to?

I later felt the need to go through a small hole in the wall that said it was reserved for the greatest people in the world. I hit my head. :{P

What else? What else? Oh yeah, We went to see a film, but fucked off 'cause there was nothing on, and we almost missed a bus 'cause a hobo collapsed in the bus stop. X{D



-Chapter Three-
The Grotty Old Pube. :{P

So, Tom's humble little abode. :{P Yeah...

We went to Tom's room, which is actually a lot smaller than it looks online. And guess what? I'm NOT in his favourites list. Hmmph. :P And let this be known to all of you, he is not as cute and as fluffy as he makes out! Alas, he is completely the opposite! He went on pictures of grotty old pubes. Ew Tom. Ewwwwwwww. :{P

His brother's videos are obviously so fake and hilarious, especially one of the epsidodes. :P Yes, the miss-spelling was purposeful. Ask Tom to link you and rofl at the kids doing stuff.

Also, it turns out, I can't play Mario Kart. :{P

Eventually we ventured back into town whilst meeting his brother and his homies. :{P He complimented my hat! I'm unsure whether to be happy or sad. :{P



-Epilogue-
Every War Must Also Come To An End Tommeh. X{D

Basically, we found our way back. Had something to eat and I fecked off.

Great day, made even better now by certain people on MSN. :) *Luvvage*

And You Know You're Fucked When The Holiday Is More Stressful Than School

Wow, what a motherfucking bollocks holiday. Couldn't be worse.

Because of course originally I could go over to see peeps on the isle of man, then despite beating every point my parents brought up, I still couldn't go. Now I can go to the Isle of man if I can get friends that my parents know to come. Guess what? All my rl friends are lazy motherfucking dickheaded horsewanking twats and I HATE THEM ALL. To top it all off now, my parents are trying to play the guilt card because of my mood.

WHAT THE FUCK!?

I'm gonna go smother myself or something now because it turns out THE WORLD HATES ME. Just for once, a bit of good luck would come in handy. It's not like I'm asking for personal gain. What is wrong with WANTING TO SEE MY FRIENDS!?

It's fucking riduculus and I don't think my mood has EVER been this bad.

FUCK.

Okay, So The Holidays Are Currently Suck-Ass

The first week has passed by as utter bollocks to be perfectly honest. One minute I'm allowed to go to the Isle of Man, the next I'm not, and now apparently, If I can rally some friends, I CAN go, so there's light at the end of the tunnel, but it looks like it's too little too late to be honest.

However, after JUST slating Nin for being angsty, I'm going to do my best not to be all hypocritical and shizz, so with the possibility of stalking... I mean... seeing Tom B. (Which I've just realised says Tomb)If I get down to Coventry, your company would be gladfully accepted so I don't like... die... Though I'd prefer walking round Coventry like a hobo than being stuck with the same four walls glaring down enigmatically at me.

Right, so I shall TRY to follow up this bollocks week with something resembling a life. Enjoy these lyrics and comment motherfuckers. :D


I'm Your Ace

Tricked into buying a double-bed apartment,
With one set of clothes and no under garment,
A light, they were right, she's a right saucy minx,
And my cheap deodorant has been replaced with lynx.

My dad would be proud and my mom would be crying,
Because minds entwine and here's me trying,
It's not very often you'll find me give a damn,
But when the planets align, I'm a right horny ram.

Play me like a card,
I don't mind,
Because for now I'm all yours,
Check the papers, all signed,
So play me face down,
With a surprise on the flip side,
Because tonight is right,
To allow my alter-ego in to slide.

Pretend you don't want it all you like,
But I can see your eyes trying to psyche,
Yourself out of destiny. The path is laid,
And so shall I be by the time I break this charade.

Play me like a card,
I don't mind,
Because for now I'm all yours,
Check the papers, all signed,
So play me face down,
With a surprise on the flip side,
Because tonight is right,
To allow my alter-ego in to slide.

I'm still with the girl of my dreams,
But it's all in my head,
I've been given a lifeline,
But the other end's dead,
And I've had enough,
No time to repent,
It's time to descend,
Into this dissent.

Play me like a card,
I don't mind,
Because for now I'm all yours,
Check the papers, all signed,
So play me face down,
With a surprise on the flip side,
Because tonight is right,
To allow my alter-ego in to slide.